Obsessive Compulsive

disorder

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I think the reason why twentysomethings are so fixated on age is because we feel a pressure to be a certain way at 23, at 25, at 29. There are all of these invisible deadlines with our careers and with love and drinking and drugs. I can’t do coke at 25. I need to be in a LTR at 27. I can’t vomit from drinking at 26. I just can’t! We feel so much guilt for essentially acting our age and making mistakes. We’re obsessed with this idea of being domesticated and having our shit together. It’s kind of sad actually because I don’t think we ever fully get a chance to enjoy our youth. We’re so concerned about doing things “the right way” that we lose any sense of pleasure in doing things the wrong way. Youth may be truly wasted on the young.
Why Do Twentysomethings Always Feel So Old | Ryan O’Connell

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I know I said I would never get a tattoo.I’m too indecisive to be able to commit to something that permanent.AndI’m too OCD that If I did choose something, I would pick it apart and find a million things wrong with it.In saying that.If I were to get something.This is the only place I would get it.Somewhere semi private.A place where one could only see it if you wanted them to.Sexy, simple… painful.I don’t want to disclose the words I would have etched into me. Though I will say…It’s just two simple words.One simple action.That has control over everybody’s life.Especially mine.Now take one.A part of me wants to have it done before 1) I chicken out and 2) I leave for Thailand.Though, a part of me really wants to think it through as well.Dil-emma!

I know I said I would never get a tattoo.

I’m too indecisive to be able to commit to something that permanent.

And

I’m too OCD that If I did choose something, I would pick it apart and find a million things wrong with it.

In saying that.

If I were to get something.

This is the only place I would get it.

Somewhere semi private.

A place where one could only see it if you wanted them to.

Sexy, simple… painful.

I don’t want to disclose the words I would have etched into me.

Though I will say…

It’s just two simple words.

One simple action.

That has control over everybody’s life.

Especially mine.

Now take one.

A part of me wants to have it done before

1) I chicken out and 2) I leave for Thailand.

Though, a part of me really wants to think it through as well.

Dil-emma!

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5

Five weeks until I jet off to Thailand.

A mix of nervous-ness and excitement shakes my bones.

I haven’t flown in years.

I haven’t ever been to a non-English speaking country.

I know un poco espanol… hahaha.

That will NOT help me in Thailand.

I have lost 3-4kgs in 2 weeks…

I must lose another 4kgs.

I want to be smokin’ in my bikini.

I want I want I want.